I think Harry Enfield’s comedy sketch of Kevin turning into a teenager epitomized the common opinion of the ‘angry teenager’. Yet in all seriousness, this common expectation of children becoming angry and obnoxious is purely down to what people are conditioned to believe. In fact the ‘schooling’ systems both in the UK and U.S were set up with the firm intent (and researched study) of having children in the required amount of years of schooling to produce subservient behaviour. Producing young adults that would be easily conditioned through lack of self worth.
Having brought up my 4 children on my own for some 14 years, I am some what qualified to speak about teenagers! Coming from my own lack of self belief many years ago (hard to believe now!) and totally immersed in the conditioning that tells us parents have to set rules and punishments if children do not follow them, I was very strict with my 3 eldest children and then wondered why as they became teenagers, they became angry, obstinate and reclusive.
I instinctively had a sense I was projecting out my own frustrations, fear and lack onto them through imposing restrictions and rules, yet at the time I was not capable of doing anything or knowing how to change my own circumstances. It was only through my own evolvement that I came to realize why children come to be perceived as anger teenagers.
You see, when we come into these life experiences, we are totally connected to energy, where we are meant to be, loving every moment and living in the now. No thoughts of what went on the day before or what lies ahead, just being present in the now. Through generational and social conditioning, children are taught in an environment of competition not creation, pressured into avenues of study or qualifications that are very often the failed desires of their parents, so children begin to move out of alignment with their natural energy as they live other people’s life experiences rather then their own.
Energetically this moves them into low frequency, which is matched by the corresponding emotional scale of stress, worry, anxiety, frustration, anger and low self worth. Hmmm, seems to be a pattern emerging here, all the so-called ‘common’ traits of a teenager’s behaviour. Of course this then becomes a continuous cycle of resonating out low frequency and attracting back experiences and opportunities coming from low frequency also, as energy works through the universal law, ‘what is like unto itself is drawn’.
So how do teenagers grow their confidence? More importantly, how do we keep children connected and aligned to their energy to grow up confident teenagers?
I was able to witness the ‘change’ in my daughters and was determined not to have my son needlessly go through the same. I had always been aware of his high frequency and unconditional love and was dismayed to find all this closing down while in the ‘normal’ school system, in fact it was lowering his frequency so much it was making him ill.
I took him out of mainstream schooling and let him study at home, with the guidance from a tutor and myself. In seven months he had studied 7 qualifications and passed them including Physics, Biology and Chemistry, he completed and passed his grade 4 rock guitar qualification also. Had he remained in the ‘system’ it would have been another year before he would have sat any exams.
The schooling was one aspect. I learned from bringing up my daughters, that control comes from a person’s own frequency of lack and trying to control was not the answer. I learned to let go, understanding we are all here to live our unique life experiences; I was merely here to guide them as they created their own experiences.
I fully embraced the creative energy within my son and allowed him to express this by letting him make the decisions for doing what he loved to do. I am very proud of the confident, creative, amazing young man he has turned into.
For any teenagers reading this, here are a few tips to build your self-esteem:
• Turn off your TVs, radios and give up reading magazine that only report negative news. Begin to take control of what you watch and listen to, make it your choice. You decide the films, the music and the information you look at.
• Define who you are. Not as a brother, sister or cousin and how you make everyone happy, instead who are YOU? What are your desires and passions, what is your vision for living a life you love?
• Your strength comes from inside, take time to reconnect with your energy. Take up meditation in whichever form aligns with you. Begin to trust your intuition, energy does not hear words, it feel vibrational frequency and communicates with you through your beliefs. It is your beliefs that are the signal to your cells to determine the frequency you resonate out and this is how energy gets your communication. If you hold a lack of self worth or self- esteem you resonate low frequency and so attract back the same frequency in experiences. Meditation helps you to connect with your energy and raise your frequency.
• Focus on your desires as if they are already here with you, let this become a belief and trust that energy will always match the frequency you resonate out, so it will attract back the frequency in experiences and opportunities that will fulfill your desires.
There is no reason why children should become disconnected from there natural high energy and when you understand that your frequency is determined by your beliefs you can see how important it is to nurture children’s self esteem and help them to grow up connected, fearless, confident and magnificent.